Out of your issue comes your passion.  Being single has been a big issue in my life.  I honestly felt that I was not a good example especially to my niece or students as I was still single.  At school, it was generally accepted that I would be one of the first to get married and have a family….

So one day, if you find yourself waking up one day and you are ____ years old, still single – not where you thought you would be at this time of your life – welcome to the club.

So what to do about it?  Well you could write a book or start a website with a new business partner, whom you have never met – sound strange – well, sometimes real life is stranger than any fiction.

So that is the background to

http://www.smartladydating.com/

and the book is called ‘Find True Love’.  It brings together wisdom from a variety of sources – many, many books, websites, movies, documentaries, real life stories (mine and others), and much more.

Topics covered include love versus infatuation, what is love and what does it look like, what to do if you have a crush, how to slow it down and make it succeed, what if he’s not interested, and how to prepare yourself.  The bonus chapter is an activity you can do to create the vision of what you want your life to be like.  As it is written, without the vision, the people will perish.  On my own journey, I have come across so many people who have given up.

If there is a rule, it is never give up.  Build your vision and attract true love.

Get your free ebook here.

Is there something in the world that you just love???  For me for nearly twenty years, it was the reward of a cigarette.  If I had done a hard physical workout, I would have a cigarette.  If I had just completed an exam I would reward myself by smoking.

For some the object of an addiction can be a different substance such as alcohol – that beer or wine after a hard’s days work or beginning at lunch on the weekend just because you can!  For others the object of addiction is less obvious such as being addicted to a person, work, exercise (oops – yes, I have been guilty of each of these!)  One thing I truly appreciate about life is that we do struggle for without struggles we become arrogant and independent and isolated…  With struggles we can choose what to do with them – cope with them by becoming addicted or draw closer to God and have him comfort us.

Life is about love.  God is love.  However love needs to be in relationship – between you and other people or you and God.  Even if you don’t agree that life is about love, I challenge you in your quieter, contemplative times that you are either thinking that you want love or defensively saying that you can live without it!  In the Western world where it can be considered uncool to believe in God and even childlike to believe in Jesus, I wonder why is the prevalence of substance abuse to numb our emotions so high!

Last weekend I went to a two day conference not only for those suffering from addictions, especially sexual addictions, but for those who would minister to them.  The conference was run by the Christian group Living Waters and we were blessed to have a team come out from Canada and teach and minister to us here in Bali, Indonesia.

So how do we know if we are addicted?

Is there something in your life that makes you feel GOOOOOOD!  You really enjoy it – maybe it is chocolate cake or coffee or the next line of cocaine!

Telltale signs you have an unhealthy attachment….

a)      Need more of it each time to get the same good feeling

b)      When you don’t have it, you are not so nice to be around

c)       You trick yourself saying that you can live without it or even deny that you use if at all

d)      Give excuses for it – perhaps saying “Oh well, I just overindulged over Christmas and New Year. “

e)      Hiding that you are doing it such as the single mum hiding the bottle of gin in the laundry basket

f)       Procrastinate – you even acknowledge that it is an issue but say “I am enjoying the moment.  One day I will look at stopping.”

Be gentle with others, even if right now you seem to have no addiction in your life, be thankful.  All of us are addicted to something.

It is how we choose to deal with it that makes us who we are.

To have hope or faith or even love – they are not just feelings but they are verbs – action words.  They require action to work out in yours or my life.

When things are tough, it is time to perhaps even sit, then stand then walk…  Sit and reflect on where you are at and what you want.  Sit and plan for your immediate future and short, medium and longer term goals.  Then stand – can you stand on these decisions – are you happy about them.  Will you be swayed by other offers or stand firm in the goals?  Then begin walking – one foot after another.  If you persevere and focus, you will get there – if you do not become weary and lose heart.

Imagine you are physically challenged or your child is physically challenged in some way.  Even then life is a choice.  We can choose to stay trapped by our own limitations that we set on ourselves or we can break free.

My own personal knowing is that alone we can do nothing.  As the famous quote goes ‘Man is not an island’.  Yes we need support and encouragement from those around us – for some very blessed people they come across a soul mate and cherish that daily in good times and bad, knowing that the good will come around again, and that there is no light without darkness.  I also know that especially for me I can do nothing without God.  He adds the super to my natural or rather the ability to my frailty – when I am weak he is strong in me.

As an example of what is meant by today’s thoughts, please reflect on this video about the life of two inspirational men…

CLICK TO WATCH – two people together with God … CAN